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Post by faulknasty on Dec 16, 2019 20:37:17 GMT
Ahh this great. Being new here it's great to get some history here.
The recent signing of itzcoatl Hernandez feels like an attempt to repeat Jack Fury but it kind of turned into a bust deal for PEWA and he got traded away. May not be true but I like having the history to come up with theories like that
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Post by faulknasty on Dec 16, 2019 20:38:06 GMT
This is one of my favorite posts on this entire board. I now publicly declare all Office promotions do similar posts. Seconded |
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Post by Senator Phillips on Dec 16, 2019 20:44:53 GMT
Ahh this great. Being new here it's great to get some history here. The recent signing of itzcoatl Hernandez feels like an attempt to repeat Jack Fury but it kind of turned into a bust deal for PEWA and he got traded away. May not be true but I like having the history to come up with theories like that Insightful input there, and I think that's dead on the mark, Hernandez was seen as the total package like Fury, the next big thing in the division, a guy who could do bloody deathmatches and put on fast paced lucha matches with equal ease in addition to bringing in more of the Hispanic market. Problem was that he was a total head case and once he lost his initial title shot, gave up on trying to make things work in Philly, and seemingly prefers being a part of Rudo EX in Santana Family Wrestling than having to try harder to be the main man in the PEWA. |
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Post by Senator Phillips on Dec 17, 2019 16:38:24 GMT
 My Interview with Biff TaylorBy Maxwell McNally As the Philadelphia Extreme Wrestling Alliance prepares to celebrate its twentieth anniversary, it is only natural that I spoke with the institution's central figure over the last two decades. I met with PEWA President Biff Taylor at a local Philadelphia establishment, Oscar's Tavern, a location Mr. Taylor was all too eager to recommend. Maxwell McNally: I commend your selection in surroundings, this is a much more, well, comfortable place than many of my subjects pick. Biff Taylor: Yeah, Oscar's is cool, good thing we're here early, we show up later, we get the cheesesteak special, but it's too crowded to have this sort of a talk! Maxwell: Well, while we wait for the meal, shall we commence? Let us start this from the most relevant point. The founding of the PEWA. Biff: Oh, of course. Now, here's the deal back then. The Cruisers and I were all lookin' to do something a bit further with the wrestlin' thing back in '98, '99. And what we saw was that if there was one place in this country that was copacetic with what we were doing, it was Philly. So we talked to some investors, some lawyers, some agents, and they told us the Halcyon Ballroom was wanting something consistent to run in their place. Maxwell: As you state it, the PEWA was a joint effort between you and the Cruisers. Biff: Yeah, well, Jacobs and Conrad, they were the ones doin' the legwork on the ground with the roster, I did the finances, I used to run a roadhouse, did some management for a small time feeder fed, too, so they put me in charge. Khan, we just kept him from getting arrested, full time job there. Maxwell: You were set for July 10th, then, tell me more about that show. Biff: PEWA: First Impressions, that was a blast. We held some one off matches in some other feds doin' a mini-tourny, and we came up with Skurai and P-Dogg as the first ever title match. Signed some guys I knew from before, like Sylvain Mint, the Goodfellas and Da Outsider, picked up some of the best local guys, like Bodybreaker Brown and Hobo Harry, and before long, we had a hellova show. Did gangbusters at the gate, we made our name, and our fanbase right there. Maxwell: As I understand, you have undertaken a concerted effort to bring back every single competitor from that event for this Friday. Biff: I sure did, took months to get some of them to agree, but we got everyone who's still alive. Barb-Wire Bill and Masked Maniac II ain't able to make it, being dead and all, and I'm still trying to contact Bernard Blackburn, our ref from the early days. But everyone else is gonna make it in! Maxwell: In another interview you did lately, I heard you say that the PEWA truly came into its own when Jack Fury won the title. Can you explain why that was the case? Biff: Yeah, Jack Fury was the biggest name by far that we signed. Mint and Outsider weren't at their best, Killer King Jones was only a hardcore guy, but Fury, yeah, he was the real deal. Best athlete in the game at the time, did shooting star presses and powerbombed 300 pounders, in the same match. Cool look, intimidating as hell, Fury was the complete package. And when he was our main man, we had someone we could build around. Maxwell: It was rather seamless how he passed the torch to Luke Powers, was it not? Biff: No disagreement there, Luke Powers came up, all mentored up by Fury, and when he was ready back in, what, '05, he won the title and was set to be our main man for the next decade. But of course, you know what followed, right? Well, let me just go into that. Luke was living high on the hog, and had some hanger ons who didn't do him any favors. Add to that the fact that the man never missed shows, no matter how hurt, and he had a mix of some bad stuff in his system. Painkillers and some, um, less than legal stuff. Maxwell: It always has impressed me how well he dealt with his demons, however. Biff: Yeah, he didn't wait until it all came crashing down, he came up to me one day and told me, "Biffmeister, I got a problem." And I told him to do what he had to do, no matter what. So he went into rehab and we had the Year from Hell. 2009 sucked, big time. We're dealing with the lawsuits from the previous year from the Zanca table incident, the Halcyon closes up for months for renovation, and our ace is in rehab. Maxwell: A perfect storm, if you will. Biff: I could do a whole interview just on Zanca and all his problems, but in short, the guy had a special talent for getting people to lose their cool. Back in, uh, '03, he got Cremator fired because he provoked him to burn a wood box up at the entrance with him inside, and then back in '08, he pissed off the Mutants, and they threw him off a balcony. Thing is, a stack of burning barbed wire tables caught him, but it was so damn big of a stack, some of them fell off into the crowd, people got hurt, we fired Zanca, we got sued, stuff went down. Maxwell: Considering that is merely the synopsis, you had your hands full to say the least. As I recall, the PEWA found itself in a period of tumult and transition at that point. Biff: Yeah, with all that going on, we had to change things up. Lawyers and money men told me to tone things down, be more respectable. But I know my crowd, they don't like that. So I go sign Jeremy Wylde, because he's got that backyard style, he's exciting, unpredictable. Athletic, good in the ring, doesn't need to be hardcore. But he just plain didn't work. They hated him. Wylde was too California for the Philly crowd, came off like he tried too hard to be liked half the time, and the other half like he didn't give a care about trying. Philly folks and PEWA fans can smell bullshit a mile away, and I guess they just thought Wylde was full of it. With the title bouncing between him and the male model, Jeffery Janson, a lot of people were saying I was trying to put the PEWA out of business by killing its spirit or something like that. Maxwell: But you were simply trying to make the best out of a very difficult situation. Biff: Right on. It was all about trying to keep the show alive until we got Powers back, until we could get the lawsuits settled. And it happened. And when it happened, we kinda went overboard, booted Janson and Wylde out, went back full bore on the hardcore. Things were smooth running after that for the next decade. We had the big feud with Hobo and Dr. Gibson, Tomas shook things up, GPC rose up, Mina and Juliette kicked ass, we get the Office involved, Fury comes back, and suddenly we're twenty years into this thing. Maxwell: So, do tell, what follows next? Biff: Well, man, that's for me to know, and you all to find out...but in all seriousness, there's gonna be some changes. We've been good for a while here, but much as we gotta celebrate the past, we also gotta keep on truckin' and keep an eye to the future. It's like the old conundrum, can't just keep things the same, can't just change for change's sake. Maxwell: I suppose I am not getting a straightforward answer just yet on this question. Biff: Nah. Maxwell: If I may ask one more question, some of my colleagues have noticed that you did not include the current champion, Young Blood on the card. Is that because of his tenuous medical condition, or is it something more personal? Biff: Um, can I pick both? Let me shoot straight with you here, Young Blood never did himself any favors with his attitude, so I ain't really inclined to do him any back. And if we're celebrating here, Young Blood, is basically the ultimate buzzkill and we don't need that around! But yeah, when he got his head smashed in by Maniac IV, it came to the point that he physically didn't belong back in the ring, and since we just talked about that mess with Zanca back in the day, well, I don't want to relive any of that lawyer crap in the present time, make sense? Maxwell: Perfectly, I believe. Anything else you wish to mention? Biff: You bet, PEWA 20 is the single biggest damn event the Philadelphia Extreme Wrestling Alliance has ever put on! It's the last time you'll be guaranteed to see all the old dudes showin' back up for one last big go of it! It'll have blood and guts, and light tubes and barbed wire and hardcore legends and vampires and demons and exorcists and drugged out zombies and wild women and tiny giants and old ass bikers and Florida men, and special guests and everything you'd ever want in a show from us crazy wackjobs! We're starting an hour earlier than usual this Friday, 7:00 PM, CT, right here in the Joe Frazier Arena in Philadelphia, PA, the world capitol of hardcore! Be there, or be square! |
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Post by Senator Phillips on Dec 18, 2019 15:18:09 GMT
PEWA Promo Rundown, Part 1:
Sylvain "Pay Day" Mint: If someone told me twenty years ago that I would be back here in the PEWA, I'd think I was talking to an idiot. Shoot, if they told me I'd still be wrestling twenty years later, I'd wonder about my own sanity. Wouldn't even think there'd be a chance the PEWA would still be around, let alone Tracy Finn. But, here I am. And I couldn't be more thankful. Still got my faculties and my health intact, and not everyone my age can say that. And I got one more lease on life.
Mint: Last time, I was here just to cash a check and move along. This time, I want to see what I can do when I look at this as an opportunity instead of an obligation. This isn't just a one-off to me, this is a start of something special. All I ask now, is that the PEWA lets me show what I can do. This old dog's learned some new tricks, and I've got myself an Extreme title in my sights.
Tracy Finn: Um, I'm wrestling Mint? It's like deja vu all over again, I think...didn't I already do this before? I don't know...hey, you got some ketchup packets?
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Killer King Jones: Look at this, look at this, I'm back home again! Been a fun time hangin' with the Rudo Army down there in the Dominican, and that's far from over, but I wouldn't miss out on this for anything! Got some real killers in my match, like Josh Belmonte, Gabriel Cruise, X-KIRA and...me! It's even in my name! So bring it on, old, young, PEWA, AAW, the Killer King's gonna run through you all!
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P-Dogg: Twenty damn years ago! Twenty years of hardcore! That's what it's all about. And I'm still here. First one to represent the PEWA to the world, first one to fly the Philly flag in this joint! So, looks like that wack-ass Hardcore Ninja wants to drop back by, well, you know what happened last time? I kicked your ass, Skurai! You been sittin' back and doin' nothing ever since! So what makes you think you can come back here and get the best of me? Maybe it's time once again for the Original to take another chump back to the school of hard knocks again...
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G.P. Christopher: Wasn't all that long ago I beat the hell out of Biff Taylor and took off to find my destiny. And the last setback aside, I think I proved to everyone that I made the right choice. The PEWA just wasn't big enough for my ambitions, to contain my potential, I had to branch out, to go worldwide. I know some people hold that against me. Screw them, I did what I had to do. But one person I never lost any respect for or from, is Hobo Harry. Little while back, he told me he wanted me to come back here, and no matter what I've done, I can't turn down the man who trained me up, who gave me all the tools to create my Philly Strong Style, to become the King of the Openers. Harry's the best high flier there ever was and ever will be and nobody's convincing me otherwise. So, let's put on a show, I even let them book me outside the Preliminary Main Event, you know that's how much I respect you, Hoboman!
Hobo Harry: GP, there ain't nobody I wanted in this match, 'sides you. All these years, nothin' I'm prouder of than seein' you do your thing over there in Japan, England, everywhere. Shows me I put in good work, made a right choice somewhere. I see things I taught every match you got. But just 'cause you learned from me don't mean I taught you everythin' I got! Kid, you best bring your best, 'cause you know you can't escape the Hobosault!
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Post by Senator Phillips on Dec 19, 2019 5:54:12 GMT
PEWA Promo Rundown, Part 2:
Downtown Lucy Brown: These last few years have been unbelievable. We get our group in Chicago, we get kicked out, we come back home, I win my title, I lose my title and now...
Bodybreaker Brown: We're getting our revenge. (Bodybreaker snaps his fingers) Just like that, we're going to snap you in half, XTK. (He snaps his fingers again) Just like that, Emerald Santiago. You didn't belong here before, and you don't belong here now.
Downtown: So just go fly back to Chicago, or wherever they give work to backyard trash like you.
Bodybreaker: Because Downtown and I, our bond's unbreakable, our connection to Philly's unbreakable, and in the ring, your ass better believe we're gonna be damn well unbreakable.
Downtown: Bodybreaker's a real PEWA Original, I'm in the record books a PEWA Extreme champion, you two, you just don't have what it takes to come over here and take the fight to us.
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X-Treme Kid: Blah, blah, blah, blah, what a happy little married couple we got over here! But the thing is, you gotta understand, you didn't have what it took to be part of the best group in Wacker Drive! You didn't have the attitude! You didn't have the balls! And when NBNF comes back to Philadelphia, you two can just get ready to...that's right...Emerald!
Emerald Santiago: What?
XTK: You know what!
Emerald: Pff.
XTK: Just do it! So yeah, you two can just get reaaaaady to...
Emerald: Suck it.
XTK: SUCK IT, YEAH!
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Florida Man: The little green men, they're everywhere. They're in the sky! They're in my workplace! They're in my freakin' dreams! And they're actually here from the government, and all the government does to me is deny me my honest-to-god rights as a real deal A-mur-i-can cit-I-zen! That's right, they arrestin' me over and over, and then they let the skinny green men steal my stuff, like that title belt that's rightfully mine! Yeah, that skinny tall guy, he got my belt and lost my belt and I need my belt, because if I don't got my belt, then what the hell's holding up my pants? And that's the real problem, why do I need freakin' pants to walk into a Waffle House and get me a meal?
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Tomas the Tiny Giant: tomas does not understand the problem that the man who was born in florida has with the tiny giant because the tiny giant was nice enough to give the man who was born in florida a match for the title of extreme that the tiny giant held and tomas does not like when people say weird things that tomas does not understand BUT TOMAS WILL VERY MUCH ENJOY SMASHING LIGHT TUBES AND SMASHING MEN WHO WERE BORN IN FLORIDA and celebrating the best company of the matches of death and the matches of blood that is in the city of the brothers that love and that is good for me because TOMAS LOVES BLOOD AND SMASHING AND CELEBRATING!
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It was blatantly clear that Victor Van Banning wished he could have been almost anywhere else on the face of the Earth, rather than to find himself standing in the conference room at Philadelphia's Halcyon Ballroom. It was not the dank stench of the building, despite the historic building having stood in the location for over a hundred years. No, Van Banning's problem was entirely due to the individual standing across the room, dressed in morbidly bloodstained fabrics, his pale skin looking all the more unnatural in the harsh, yet still inadequate lighting of the room.
Victor Van Banning: It serves me no pleasure to find myself forced into such an abhorrent coalition. But, Jakob of Furis, while I consider you to be every bit the abomination as I do our foes, there are times that the righteous must band with those who do not represent our values, in seeking the greater good. Just as the English and the Americans sought the assistance of the mass murderer, Joseph Stalin to combat the absolute evil of the Nazis, I shall endure a decidedly temporary team with you.
Furis simply stares at Van Banning, and it is obvious that his eyes are laser focused slightly below the exorcist's face.
Van Banning: If you would please, do raise your eyes away from my collar.
Jakob of Furis: Do stop your veins from pulsating and ve have a deal...
Van Banning: It is uncomfortable enough that I must team with you! But as I failed before, now I must instead take the drastic measure in seeking the greater good...
Furis: Good? That vord burns my skin. No, ve seek the lesser evil...
Van Banning: I do not seek any evil! The fallen nature of mankind is a most formidable pitfall, even before one takes into account the dreadful grasp which the supernatural...
Furis: Enough! Save your vords and do my bidding in destroying Vladimir Henry!
Van Banning: And indeed, Sir Vladimir must be banished from...
Furis: Destroyed!
Van Banning: Seeing that it is in the open public in which we do battle, such measures would certainly not be...
Furis: Destroyed!
Van Banning: Very well then. You must destroy him. Just as I also wish to exorcise the blasphemous cretin that has taken the name of the Demon Priest.
Furis: Do not vaste my time with such talk.
Van Banning: And yet, he is allied with your, nay, our mortal enemy.
Furis: Then he vill be destroyed too. I vill cut him a new priest collar if he stands in my vay.
Van Banning: Utter barbarism...what depths must I sink to in my endless quest?
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Rampage Rage: It's the Rage and the Face, back at ya' one more time here, and when we heard who the big bad Biffmeister put us up against for this show, we knew we couldn't just get two randoms to help us out! We knew we couldn't scrape the bottom of the barrel!
Skullface Killah: Us two and the Goodfellas, we cool with that!
Rampage: But that ain't what it ended up being! No, instead, that mad maniac Biff's also making us run up against two of the biggest shitbags in the history of the PEWA, and if you paid any attention to all that stuff they put up over the last few days, you know that's a crowded competition!
Skullface: Wylde and Janson, I hate those two, hate them!
Rampage: And so does the rest of the PEWA! Jeremy Wylde's just a spastic phony interloper who thought he could walk in here and run this deal! And Jeffery Janson...
Skullface: This ain't some show for pretty boys...or girls!
Rampage: Yeah. We don't like anyone who ain't cut out for this, especially if they get title shots for free, not when they don't do things the ol' school way, the way we learned, the way the people wanna see!
Skullface: We couldn't do this alone!
Rampage: Hell no, Skullface, we got ourselves two of the baddest in the business watchin' our backs here. We reunitin' the Bingo Hall Butchers with BDW's master of the hardcore, the one and only Jack Slash!
Skullface: And we got our buddy from Evergreen, the guy who beat us all, Kantar! You got us covered here, we got you the best BBQ of the year afterwards!
Rampage: And if there's anything Skullface knows better than bustin' people open and crushing their craniums, it's firin' up grills! We're going to remind everyone what the PEWA's all about, what it's always should have been about, what it always should be about!
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Tony the Rod: One more trip down the road for the Made Men.
Eddie the Wire: We know we've never really been at home here in the PEWA. But it's always been good to us anyway.
The Rod: For us, it's always been about doing business. It's not a labor of love, it's just business. But like any good business, we know we have to keep moving along.
The Wire: That could be the last time we're here in the PEWA! So we're going to make one exception to our rule! One time, we're putting the business side aside, and taking a match because we want it. The Bingo Hall Mutants have always been a thorn in our collective side. But it's a funny thing about that.
The Rod: We got so used to them, we're almost going to miss dealing with them when we're done with this.
The Wire: So we figured, they wanted to get a big tag match in. We knew it wasn't the best call for the business side of things. But if it meant we got one more shot at the Mutants, we decided to take it. We took this one because we wanted it! Even if we have to team with Jeffery Janson again. Even if it means we also team with Jeremy Wylde.
The Rod: This time, it's not business...it's simply personal.
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As the Wild Women, Juliette Erving, Mina Fitsharris, Annie Chang and CiCi Reno all walked into the conference room, with Anthony Kalb and Kevin Fitsharris close behind. Mina and Juliette stood up at the podium, and it was Mina who first addressed the room.
Mina Fitsharris: Back around the start of 2018, if anyone told me I'd consider Julette Erving a good friend of mine, I'd probably punch them in the mouth! But that was then, and this is now. A lot's happened since then. We've fought a lot, then we became a team, even though I hated the whole idea. We lost, because really, we weren't on the same page. But we were each too stubborn to quit. We kept teaming, even though we hated each other, because we weren't going to quit teaming until we won some matches first. But it's funny, the more we tried, the better we got along, because while we're basically polar opposites in a lot of ways, we also got a lot in common. And now each of us stands here, holding up half of the PEWA Extreme Tag titles. And I can sincerely call Juliette my good friend.
Juliette: Now, I gotta say, I think Mina's story's all sweet and nice and all, but it ain't the way I saw it. Yeah, she kinda got the whole timeline right and all...but really, I never hated her!
Mina: Oh no, here we go...
Juliette: Yeah, right from the start, all I could think of when I saw Mina was how much I wanted to get a piece of that sweet sexy ass! Just wanted to peel off those jeans and get me...
Mina: Ok, you can stop now.
Annie Chang: Go on! Go on!
Juliette: Alright, alright, I get it, you don't want to talk in public about those long nights we spent on the road shows, those post-match showers...
Mina: I'm now wondering why I ever consider you a friend.
Kevin Fitsharris: So now the truth comes out, finally.
Anthony Kalb: Kev, let's not jump to conclusions here...at least not without some concrete evidence...preferably in 1080p.
Annie: I gotta see this too, you know, for the investigation...
Mina: All of you can go to hell!
Juliette: Oooh, is lil' Mina blushing over there?
Mina: Juliette, you wanted a fight?
Juliette: Uh, yeah.
Mina: Because you're getting one! And you jokers over there!
Anthony Kalb flashes a self-satisfied smirk, while Kevin Fitsharris looks up at the ceiling light, rubbing his nose, Annie Chang giggles and CiCi Reno merely shrugs.
Mina: Kalb, maybe you don't want that Christmas present that Kevin and I picked out! Annie, you better hope I'm not training you again any time soon! CiCi...we're cool. And Kevin, you, you...you're sleeping on the couch!
Juliette: Because we're sharing the bed, right?
Mina: Argh! I've had enough of this!
And with that, Mina Fitsharris stomps out of the room, slamming the door behind. The remaining inhabitants of the room all share a long silent moment before spontaneously breaking out into simultaneous fits of laughter.
Kalb: Sorry, Kev, but did you see the look on her face? Mina turned red, like a tomato!
Kevin: I, hahah, shoot, hah, can't stop, hahaha, laughing, even though, haha, she'll kill me. Don't care!
Juliette: She's too cute when she gets all blushy angry like that! But yeah, guess I gotta get serious here. Mina's, like my best friend and all. That means I take messin' with her serious, just like I take fighin' with her serious...kinda. We've torn the roof straight off before, and I wanna see what we can do this time! We both know what's goin' down here, we're gonna kick each other's ass like asses never been kicked before! I wouldn't have it any other way, and neither would Mina!
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Post by Senator Phillips on Dec 19, 2019 7:19:00 GMT
PEWA Promo Rundown, Part 3:
The management of the PEWA and the Halcyon Ballroom agreed that the Cremator would not be allowed to cut a promo inside the aged building. So instead, the Cremator, Bath Salts Zombie, Beatriz and Zanca can be seen standing in front of a dumpster, sitting in the middle of the parking lot. Of course, the dumpster is on fire.
The Cremator: The Ritual of the Flame is reignited once again. Biff Taylor, I was once told by you that I was never to return to the PEWA for the rest of my lifetime. And yet, like the fire that always returns, thus does the Cremator. And when this fire burns, it burns for you. As you thought to extinguish my spark, I now return to consume the remnants of your career in a raging inferno!
Beatriz: The PEWA will be en fuego! ÂĄContempla el rostro de la belleza quemada y siente el calor del fuego!
Bath Salts Zombie: theytalkaboutfirebutalliwanttodoiseatyourfaceandeatyourfaceandeatyourfacehahaha!
Zanca: Screw this shit. Cremator wants to burn things, well, so do I, but that's not why I'm back. Nope, I'm back here because I'm sick and tired of every time someone talks about the "good old days," Zanca here ends up being the big scapegoat! They talk about how I was the one who ruined everything, I didn't know what I was doing, I was the douche of douches! But guess what? Getting fired from the PEWA was the best thing that ever happened to me! I went to Japan, I became a legit shooter adding that to my skills and I found that when I wasn't being held back here, people thought I was pretty damn good. One of the best in the world. So, one more time up against the Cruisers? Can't wait. Can't wait for this. Time to give them what they've been waiting for all these years!
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Cruiser Taylor: So, one more time?
Cruiser Jacobs: One more time.
Cruiser Conrad: One more time.
Cruiser Khan: Fuckin' A, we're gonna rip those sonsabitches asses up!
Taylor: Alright then, the ol' Biffmeister's gonna lead the charge, if that ain't a problem for you dudes.
Jacobs: None.
Conrad: Everything's copacetic on this front.
Khan: Don't give a fuckin' fuck long as I get to rip into them sonsabitches, fire headed bastards!
Taylor: So it's official, the Cruisers ride again, one more time, into the sunset...
Conrad: If by sunset, you mean, back to Sturgis, South Dakota to get back to Highway Outlaw Wrestling, then we've got ourselves another agreement here.
Jacobs: And that's fine and dandy.
Khan: Fuckin' fine to me, you sonsabitches.
Taylor: And if we're all good...we're all good.
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Luke Powers and Jack Fury did not set up as the rest did in the conference room. Instead of standing behind the podium, the two pulled up a few chairs and a table, and Powers put a big paper bag down, pulling out a six pack of beer and a four pack of root beer, opening one of each and handing Fury the beer before sitting down.
Luke Powers: No need for any phony BS, we're too old for that.
Jack Fury: Amen. No hate, no vitriol, just respect.
Powers: You and me, we can honestly say we're the best this place ever had, not being arrogant, just truthful. I held that belt for years! And when I had my problems, the PEWA almost fell to pieces. And when I came back, so did the fed.
Fury: And when I became the champion, it was said to have provided "true legitimacy" to the belt, and to the promotion itself. Yes, I read the dirtsheets back then.
Powers: I mean, not tryin' to brag, but we're braggin'.
Fury: And yet, we have the right to do so. Why else go to such trouble in the course of our lives and our careers, but to possess that undeniable privilege? It is good to be able to have lived long enough to reflect upon the passing of time, upon the entirety of an entire phase of one's life, to know that as the final remnants of my youth fade into the ether, that I did not entirely waste the opportunities and the talent I fought so hard to realize.
Powers: Didn't some old poet guy say "it's better to burn out than fade away?"
Fury: My, my, hey hey! That's friggin Neil Young there, kid. He wasn't wrong, though. This final year of my career, I decided if I must step away, I would not do so slowly or quietly, I would scratch and claw and fight for one more chance to bookend my career, twenty years apart having held that title.
Powers: Gotta respect you trying, even if it didn't work out.
Fury: If anything, it was confirmation that my choice to consider retirement was the right one. It's the right time, before I start really embarrassing myself out there.
Powers: And you better have one big fight left in you here, because there's no way I'm going to let up here, on the biggest night in the history of my company that I carried on my shoulders, I'm not going to let you down by carrying you in that ring, you hear that, old man, you better come out there ready to go to war, because if you don't, I'm gonna steamroll you into retirement!
Fury: And with all that talk, where is the title? Not around your waist, or mine. It belongs now to a man who usurped your rightful place, even as he stands on the edge of oblivion!
Powers: Look, when, not if, but when I get my shot at Young Blood, I'm going to show him that he's far from my level...but anyway, you're deflecting!
Fury: I hide from nothing. Merely stating that I have fought the best in this company more than you have, over the course of this year. If there is any question about my condition, I may ask you if you remain as motivated as you believe yourself to be. The years take a toll on one and all and Luke Powers is no exception.
Powers: I got a long way to go before I even think about calling it, you hear that?
Fury: Then get back in the game! Make a statement, make my final match your statement! Defeat me emphatically and fight your way back! Show no sentimentality, no hesitation, no reluctance! Do what you are here to do! Win! And win in spite of my best effort!
Powers: Don't you tell me to win like that, when you got beat in two minutes by Downtown Brown! No excuses about any damn explosions! You lost like you didn't belong out there! That ain't the Jack Fury that showed me how to be the ace around here! That ain't the Jack Fury that inspired fear and awe in the hearts of everyone! That ain't what I expect to see out there on Friday! You go out there like it's not just your last match, but like it's your whole legacy at stake! Take the best shot I got, and throw it back at me, laughing like you don't give a care! Show the whole world one more time who Jack Fury was before you walk away! Beat the odds, beat back Father Time, beat me! Or you'll regret this for whatever's left of your life!
Both Powers and Fury stood up from their chairs, each setting his drink down in the process. The two briefly posed in front of the camera in the room with a brief staredown, and shook hands, exchanging words as they did so.
Powers: You heard what I said.
Fury: Nah, I'm old and deaf.
Powers: Damn it, you heard me. Win this match...if you still can.
Fury: And you heard me. Finish this for good...if you have what it takes.
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Post by Senator Phillips on Dec 20, 2019 16:28:19 GMT
It's finally time. After all this buildup, the PEWA celebrates its 20th anniversary in style tonight at 7:00 PM CT on the Senatorial Streaming Service: www.twitch.tv/senatorphillipsNeed I say more at this point? |
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Post by joshthejerseyboy on Dec 20, 2019 20:39:58 GMT
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Post by Senator Phillips on Dec 21, 2019 7:22:39 GMT
Finally...it's finally done. PEWA 20 is in the books, and may well have somewhat lived up to the hype! Many thanks to everyone who showed up and who contributed edits to this one! RESULTS PEWA 20 Friday, December 20 at 7:00 PM (CT) at the Joe Frazier Arena in Philadelphia, PA Main Event: Jack Fury Retirement Match, PEWA Extreme Title Bout Young Blood(C) vs. Jack Fury vs. Luke Powers  Shortly before the match, Young Blood walked out onto the entrance ramp, microphone in hand. Young Blood: Not so fast. Fury, you ancient fossil, you don't get to go out this easy! No easy little retirement for you! Screw this, I talked to my lawyers and I told management this ain't your going away party any more! This is now MY title defense! Chew on that, Biff Taylor, you can't keep me off this card! Young Blood: Fury, I'm not going to let you retire, I'm going to put you down like the broken invalid that you are! And Powers, you can join right after him! All the Oxycontin and Vicodin in the world isn't going to soften this! Enough nostalgia, this is my time! Now looking for his final shot at the title, Jack Fury was on a mission. He ripped into Powers and Young Blood with a renewed intensity, looking twenty years younger from the bell. It was Fury that managed to eliminate Luke Powers with the Depths of Fury sheer drop double underhook driver. And yet, Young Blood did not fall before the old champion, but fought an intelligent, methodical battle against him, eventually landing the Last Will and Testament, his wrist clutch fireman carry driver to retain the PEWA Extreme title and put an end to the distinguished career of Jack Fury. One More Ride for the Cruisers - Crew Carnage Match The Cruisers(Cruiser Jacobs, Cruiser Conrad, Cruiser Taylor and Cruiser Khan) vs. The Ritual of the Flame(The Cremator, Beatriz, Zanca and Bath Salts Zombie)  This was a massacre. An old fashioned, no questions asked massacre. Bath Salts Zombie got tossed early, with the Cremator surviving several attempts before joining him outside the ring. And after an extended beatdown, Zanca and Beatriz almost went out at the same time, giving the Cruisers a proud victory to celebrate. Wild War Mina Fitsharris with The Capitalists(Kevin Fitsharris and Anthony Kalb vs. Juliette Erving with Annie Chang and CiCi Reno(OASIS)  Mina Fitsharris was in no mood for Juliette Erving's usual antics, and knowing her as well as she does, managed to counter every attempt at a lip lock or a questionable hold early in the match. It seemed that Mina was in full control for the first two thirds of the match, hitting the Night Ride DDT, going for her husband's finisher, the Black Tuesday cattle mutilation hold and hitting the Midnight Special, but Erving endured through it all. She finally unleashed her own offence late in the match, with running neckbreaker drops and diving headbutts connecting, and over half an hour into the contest, hit The Conclusion, her snap neckbreaker for a top notch victory. The Bingo Hall Butchers(Jack Slash(BDW), Rampage Rage and Skullface Killah) and Kantar(Phoenix Rising) vs. The Goodfellas(Eddie the Wire and Tony the Rod) and PEWA's Most Hated ("Party Animal" Jeremy Wylde and "The Glamorous" Jeffery Janson)  The reunited Bingo Hall Butchers and Kantar were in no mood to play around, turning back a throwback performance from a fired up Eddie the Wire and surviving a multitude of Canadian Destroyers from Jeremy Wylde in the end, with Skullface putting him down with a simple, effective, jumbo sized headbutt. PEWA #1 Contender Bout - Light Tube Deathmatch Tomas the Tiny Giant vs. Florida Man  Tomas was right at home surrounded by smashable light tubes and other weapons. While Florida Man went into a veritable storm of cutters and cutter attempts, Tomas weathered the attack with ease and put his fellow potential contender down with an emphatic chokeslam, knocking him out and earning a shot at Young Blood's PEWA Extreme title. NBNF Revisited Mr. and Mrs. Brown(Bodybreaker Brown and Downtown Lucy Brown) vs. NBNF(X-Treme Kid and Emerald Santiago with DUDE Smith)(Wacker Drive Revival)  Pay no heed to Digital Dave's terrible rating, thanks to DUDE Smith's presence at ringside. This was by far one of the best matches of the night, an intense, fast paced half hour of action where both teams pulled out all the stops, with blood covering the mat, rapid fire sequences pulled off by both sides, close calls, momentum shifting back and forth with DUDE Smith occupying the Masked Maniac III for an extended double team spot for his NBNF teammates, but it was Downtown Lucy Brown once again showing up strong, hitting a twisting fire star splash to overcome the odds and defeat the Wacker Drive duo. G.P. Christopher(Lightning Pro) vs. Hobo Harry  GPC may not give any excuses after this understated showing, but it should be noted that he was not in his opening match spot, showed deferential respect to his foe in the ring and Hobo Harry, having taught him, was able to keep several steps ahead every moment of the match, hitting his trademark Hobosault to take a win over the Office's #2 ranked member. The Return of the Horror Victor Van Banning and Jakob of Furis(OG-FPD) with Yamikuro vs. The Demon Priest(PCP) and Sir Vladimir Henry with Heidi Karnstein  Sir Vladimir Henry may not be the brashest personality or the biggest loudmouth, but he may certainly be the single most intimidating member of the PEWA roster. Seeking to impose his will upon the match from the beginning, Henry spiked Jakob of Furis multiple times with his Omen of Death thumb to the throat, keeping Furis and Victor Van Banning on the back foot for much of the match. Heidi Karnstein also got her hands dirty, attacking Van Banning and Furis on the outside. While Furis's team got some offence in on the Demon Priest, Henry's return to the match resulted in him delivering one more Omen of Death to take a decisive victory in the heated feud between the PEWA's arcane elements. The First Title Match P-Dogg vs. Skurai  P-Dogg won this match the first time around, and once again looked strong, hitting an early Red Dogg gutwrench facebuster and jumping up from a rainmaker style Ninja Ambush cutter before hitting the PDT to win, and to win easily. Over the Top Royale Kengo Tamura vs. Dr. Trace Gibson vs. X-KIRA vs. Gabriel Cruise(PWR) vs. Masked Maniac IV vs. Killer King Jones(Santana Family Wrestling) vs. Da Outsider vs. Josh Belmonte(AAW)  Josh Belmonte was on a mission in this match, dumping Gabriel Cruise out of the ring almost instantly to net a 14 second elimination by way of a vertical suplex counter and continued to take opponents out of the match as it went along. Eventually, with Killer King Jones and Kengo Tamura falling late, it came down to Belmonte and Dr. Trace Gibson. Belmonte's powerbombs came close as did Gibson's precise submissions, with a seated armlock finally putting away the deathmatch legend to take a hard earned victory on his return to the PEWA. Opening Once Again Sylvain "Pay Day" Mint vs. Tracy Finn  One of the biggest surprises of the night was the opening match, where Sylvain "Pay Day" Mint demonstrated his renewed motivation and expansive skillset in fighting off a surprisingly competitive Tracy Finn to open up the show. Finn came close on multiple occasions in hitting the Finn-ishing Blow, and took a good deal of punishment, but couldn't kick out of the Mint Magnum pumphandle Michinoku Driver II. --- Match of the Night: Mr. and Mrs. Brown vs. NBNF -Digital Dave might not have agreed, but this was as close to a perfect tag match as it gets. Action that never let up, plenty of blood and high spots and exciting multi person spots. That said, the main event delivered, big time, Mint vs. Finn was a sleeper favorite, Mina vs. Juliette was what it always is, and the over the top royale had some quality moments. Performer of the Night: Jack Fury -A tough call, a sure to be controversial one, but Fury's last stand was a valiant effort, coming within a cat's whisker of regaining his title and ending his career looking like the force he was in his prime. --- Injury Report Florida Man: Wind Knocked Out (No Medical Suspension) -Florida Man took a hard chokeslam from Tomas, and was knocked out, but appears to have suffered no lasting damage from the match. --- A lengthy post show meal and interview session followed directly afterwards, and has been spoilered due to length:
Following the PEWA 20 event, the Bingo Hall Mutants were seen, grilling as always, albeit with a set of smokeless grillers, in the lunch hall at the Joe Frazier Arena. The hall was filled, with members of the ring crew, ticket office, security team and the promotional staff getting their choices first.
Rampage Rage: Move along, move along, we're lookin' out for you people first!
Soon, the wrestlers started arriving in, with the camera crew having set up a table to grab a quick interview with referee Masked Maniac III as soon as they sat down. Never one to pass up on any food, Killer King Jones was the first one to arrive with his plate stacked sky high with ribs, cheese infused mashed potatoes and drumsticks.
Masked Maniac III: Before you take a bite, just let me know...
Killer King Jones merely looked up at the Maniac with a baleful expression as he bit into a spoonful of mashed potatoes, and then a drumstick, and then a rib.
Masked Manaic III: Ok...I shoulda known better...hey, IV! Lost again?
Masked Maniac IV: Lost again, never defeated!
Maniac IV walked by, his mask still stained by the green mist of Josh Belmonte, and shortly after, was followed by Sylvain Mint, who made a point to talk to Maniac III.
Sylvain "Pay Day" Mint: So you're interviewing us? Good. Because I have something to say. I came back here to see if I could become the champ. I don't want it handed to me. But I want that chance. So I want to put this idea out there. Me, Dr. Gibson, Sir Henry, Powers in one block, P-Dogg, Juliette, Hobo, Wylde in the other block. Put us in a little tournament in January. Winner gets a shot.
At this point, P-Dogg yells out as he passes by with his plate in hand.
P-Dogg: Mint, less yappin' and more eatin!
Mint nods to the Maniac, and soon, Victor Van Banning slowly crosses past the camera, his plate nearly empty but for a roll and a salad.
Manaic III: Hey, Mr. Van Banning, hey! Not much on that plate!
Victor Van Banning: I am not much in the mood for jovial celebrations and plentiful feasts.
Maniac III: You know, I have an old saying, "lost again, never defeated..."
Van Banning shakes his head and continues on. The Cremator follows after, and the ribs on his plate are blackened, giving off the unmistakable smell that terribly overcooked meat can produce. The Maniac says nothing. He has little time to ponder the sight before an exuberant Tiny Giant appears.
Tomas: THIS IS A DAY THAT IS GOOD! but maybe tomas is wrong because this is not the day at all but the night SO THIS IS A NIGHT THAT IS GOOD and fun is winning and winning is fun and i do like winning when light bulbs CAN SMASH ALL OVER THE MAN WHO IS FROM FLORIDA AND SAYS THE STRANGE THINGS THAT I DO NOT UNDERSTAND! but now tomas doesn't worry about the man who is from florida because now the tiny giant again can win his crown of the extreme back from the...
Maniac III: Tomas, congratulations! I'd ask you how you feel, but I think you already told us all! And hey, Eddie, Tony, how are you two?
Eddie the Wire: Maniac, I'll tell you. I've felt worse.
Tony the Rod: Undoubtedly.
The Wire: But me and Tony here, we've done well here in the PEWA. If this was going to be our last match here, we could have done worse. I took the fight to the Mutants, and that felt good.
The Rod: But just because we might be done here, doesn't mean we're closed for business elsewhere.
And with that, the Goodfellas walked away, with all four Cruisers having entered the scene.
Maniac III: Mr. Taylor! You and the Cruisers looked great! Is that the beginning of a big return here?
Biff Taylor: Nah. I'll tell you what, Maniac dude, next day or two, you'll hear what's up with the Biffmeister and the Cruisers. But tonight, we're just enjoyin' the good food and the good times! Let's let these good times roll on, my friends!
Cruiser Jacobs and Conrad pass along, talking to Killer King Jones as they walk along. Cruiser Khan gives the Maniac a sideways look.
Cruiser Khan: Fuckin' sonovabitch....
And Khan follows his compatriots. It was then that the entire contingent of the Wild Women made their way through, and any sign of anger or irritation from Mina and Juliette had faded, with CiCi and Annie leading in front of them, and the Capitalists carrying on a heated debate behind them.
Anthony Kalb: And I tell you, Kev, Kobe was all flash and no cash, he always needed someone to carry his team, Shaq, Pau, even Metta World Peace! He couldn't do it himself! And he was really just an inefficient Jordan wannabe, he couldn't hang in today's analytics driven game!
Kevin Fitsharris: And I tell you, Kalb, Kobe would whip up on today's NBA like nothing they'd ever seen! You see what Harden does with all his little flashy tricks? Kobe'd just plain score fifty points a game on average! On average!
Maniac III: So, uh, excuse me, can I talk to Juliette and Mina? Thank you! Ok, Mina, Juliette, you two seem happy after you beat the hell out of each other! That's...not normal, is it?
Mina Fitsharris: Well, it's normal for us, I guess. We both enjoy a good fight.
Juliette Erving: And that was a grrrreat fight!
Mina: We both know that's why we had that match anyway, and we're still good with being the tag champs, too.
Maniac III: Weren't you a little ticked at Juliette before?
Mina: She talks, she ticks me off, I let myself get ticked off, it's all fun and games. When it comes down to it, we thrive in that kind of chaos.
Juliette: Speakin' of fun and games, you didn't let me give you a big smooch out there, Mina!
Mina: Nope, I had you scouted, this time.
Juliette: But isn't there mistletoe over your head there?
Looking up, Mina sees nothing but ceiling panels.
Mina: There's nothin...
And before Mina could finish, Juliette grabbed her head with both hands, and planted a ferocious kiss on her lips. Mina struggles momentarily, before catching Juliette's shirt in a cross collar choke, pulling it tight and extracting herself from the liplock.
Juliette: Urkurk...that...was worth it, hah!
Mina: I'm sure it was...come on, let's go get our plates...again.
Sure enough, both Mina and Juliette had dropped their plates and trays during the struggle, with the Capitalists both down on their hands and knees cleaning up the floor.
Maniac III: Never a dull moment with these two around!
As the Wild Women go back to the serving table, Jack Fury and Luke Powers enter walk by, looking somewhat worse for wear.
Maniac III: I hate to bother you right now...
Luke Powers: Ain't no bother, little man. Yeah, I had a bad night out there, but at least if I'm gettin' dumped on my head, at least if I have to lose, I lost to this guy here.
Jack Fury: It was the opportunity of a lifetime, squandered in a single moment. But even in such unmitigated failure, there was still the reflection of life. Life is loss from the start, isn't it? We're born with our timer counting down until the final seconds tick away. So you can say all of life is loss.
Powers: Old man, you sound like you're both high and drunk, come sit down, and let's talk about the good ol' times! And watch a replay of the video Chang took of Juliette and Mina doing the thing again, come on.
Fury: One moment. My story might be over as far as competing here goes. I did more than most, I carved my name into the stone. I am satisfied with that. But do not think for one moment that I will walk all the way away until I see someone take that belt off the waist of Young Blood...or until I see him finally show that there is yet the capacity for some sense within his thick skull.
Maniac III: Speaking of the champ, I haven't seen him! Hey, guys, has anyone seen Young Blood?
A majority of the room answers with a loud "No" in unison, with Cruiser Khan shouting out from his table.
Khan: Good fuckin' riddence to that motherfuckin sonovabitch! Hey, Conrad, pass me that shitty little salt shaker over there!
Maniac III: Alright then!
It was at this moment when Rampage Rage stepped out from the grill, and addressed the room.
Rampage: Yeah, all you bums, stand up! We're family here! And one of ours has finally called it a day! You know how friggin' rare that is? It's like winnin' the lottery type of odds that happens here! It's more rare than gettin' your busted ass street lamp fixed up! So you hardcore morons all raise a glass, we're toastin' the career of Jack Fury, the baddest badass we ever saw around here! And we're toastin' twenty years of hardcore Philly style action! And we're toastin' everyone who's been here, who's made this place home for all this time! So raise those damn glasses!
As everyone raised their glasses and bottles, the whole room exploded into a cheer for Jack Fury and for the PEWA. As things settled back down, one more individual threw the doors open, bursting into the room. Everyone whipped their heads around to see the source of the noise, Luke Powers jumped up to his feet with a clenched fist, as did Tomas, fixing a stare upon the looming frame standing within the doorway, his head covered by a heavy hoody.
??: ...this...it aint over.
The hood came off.
Tracy Finn: ...it can't be over yet, can it? I just want my ribs!
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Post by OrochiGeese on Dec 21, 2019 7:51:52 GMT
Wow, Mint vs. Finn sounded awesome!!!!!
I guess Furis has been broadcasting his digits on 1-900-SUK-VAMP cause Vladimir seems to have his number! ð
Vladimir keeps beating him at his own game, that being the game of sticking his thumb in people's throats.
We need to have a "Jack Horner" match where they compete to see how many pies they can stick their thumbs in within a set amount of time. Dessert pies that is, Heidi's doesn't count ð
My guess is that Banning is pissed at Furis for all his "DESTROY" bluster and just wants to forget this all happened. Fortunately, it sounds like they were both spiked on their heads enough to get that exact effect!!
Really wish I could have caught this show tonight but today was like 48 hours of crazy in a 24 hour bag ðĪŠ |
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Post by Senator Phillips on Dec 25, 2019 22:40:52 GMT
 Seasons greetings to one and all, this is Morgan "Midas" Matthews, and I am here to present to you, the ultimate holiday gift, the gift of gold. For this Friday, Golden Touch Promotions returns with its third blockbuster event. This will be a show sure to satisfy all those who are looking for giant-sized thrills and excitement. And it is an oversized treat I have to offer with our main event, as Desert Pro Wrestling's behemoth, Giant the Cement has answered our invitation to face the Immovable Object, Colossus Rhodes. But because I truly believe in giving the paying customer their dollar's value, there is not just one, but two added feature matches. The people have asked, and now they will receive, as Evergreen Wrestling's chair-stacking madman, Kevin Royce will face Universal Combat Shoot Style's Openweight Champion, the Armbar Grandmaster, Thiago Gracie. And third, we have a man known to wrestling fans for decades, Sierra Wrestling All-Stars' Jim Tarler, stepping out from the back office to take on one of the Texas Independent Pro Wrestling Federation's High Plains Drifters, the man known as Johnny Sixname. And I need not mention that we will also showcase some of the most exciting wrestlers in the world leading into these fine matches, with Blackrose's Battlestar Galacticat looking to impress, Warrior Pro's Otto "Brick" Casey making a return to the ring and the debut of a person I believe will be the shining star of the Golden Touch roster going forward, the single greatest athlete you will ever see inside a wrestling ring, the next stage in the evolutionary process, the New Humanity. This is the best you can find. This is Golden Touch. See it live this Friday, or if you must, on the Senatorial Streaming Service on the channel I built. www.twitch.tv/senatorphillipsGolden Touch Promotions #3: Giant vs. ColossusFriday, December 27th at 8:00 PM (CT) at the Beltway Hippodrome in Washington DC Main Event Giant The Cement(Desert Pro) vs. Colossus RhodesRoyce vs. Gracie Kevin Royce(Phoenix Rising) vs. Thiago Gracie(UCSS)Old Guard Challenge Jim Tarler(Siera Wrestling All-Stars) vs. Johnny Sixname(TIPWF)Featured Talent -The New Humanity
-Otto "Brick" Casey(Warrior Pro)
-BattlestarGalacticat(Blackrose)In addition, Stanford Bradley will be opening up with a 30 minute set from the Funny Factory, but per negotiations, this will not be broadcast on the Senatorial Streaming Service, so this will only be 'enjoyed' by the live audience. |
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Post by Senator Phillips on Dec 26, 2019 19:32:03 GMT
Senatorial Office End of Year Awards 2019
Stanford Bradley: Hey, hey, it's everyone's favorite funny man, the undisputed, reigning, undefeated king of comedy, the guy with the gig at Golden Touch, the best in the universe, the...
Senator Steve Phillips: Get on with it...
Stanford: One and only, Staaaaanford Braaaaadley! Anyway, I'm here with Senator Asshole Phillips...
Senator: Ahem.
Stanford: I say what I want, man! Besides, it's like tradition at this point, and you love your traditions, so you should appreciate it. So yeah, anyway, since I'm such a jam up guy, and did such a bang up job last year, I'm back, jack! Back here to host.
Senator: Co-host.
Stanford: To host this rigamarole once again! And I got Phillips here backseat drivin' so I don't get too daring and dangerous here!
Senator: So, let us move along, now.
Stanford: Hey, let me do this at my own pace, I don't do the "establishment approved" thing, I mean, really, since you called me in here, I really think you just invited me to stir the pot, right?
Senator: You best hope you refrain from any provocations, lest I decide to call Aoife over here.
Stanford: Ulp, because I don't want my liver perforated by an irate redheaded hottie's fist, let's get on with the Senatorial Office End of Year Awards! First up, we're going to talk Promotion of the Year!
Senator: Let it not be said that I am playing favorites here, for all the Affiliate Promotions within the Senatorial Office are valued partners. However, only one could earn this award.
Stanford: And the winner is....drum roll...dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-ba-dum-bop-lop-a-do-wop-bum-bum-ptish! Golden Touch Promotions!
Senator: Mr. Bradley, that was decidedly not the winner of the award, not least for the reason that Golden Touch only airs on our streaming service, and is not officially an Affiliate.
Stanford: Fine, whatever you say, mister sir. The winner is...aw shit, the edge of the envelope cut my finger! Call a time out! Call a medic! Call 911! Paper cut! Paper cut! I'm bleeding out!
Senator: The winner of this award goes to the Philadelphia Extreme Wrestling Alliance. While Pan African Wrestling has had a member at the top of the Office Rankings the entire year, the Texas Independent Pro Wrestling Federation put on some of the strongest events of the year and Santana Family Wrestling thrilled us through the year with its faction warfare and title drama, the PEWA celebrated its 20th anniversary in typically chaotic style, bolstered its roster and seen a legend go out with respect.
Stanford: Argh, ugh, ok, don't worry, no need to fret, while my essential fluids were draining out of my body, I kept my composure intact, like few others could, and I performed immediate, life saving first aid! I'm still in the game, Phillips, I hope you appreciate the trouble I went through here for your awards!
Senator: My gratitude cannot be overstated.
Stanford: So, where were we, promotion of the year?
Senator: We have proceeded past that particular point.
Stanford: Ok, so, we're talking Team of the Year! And for that, I'm going to play this video here!
---
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Senator: Congratulations to the Bingo Hall Mutants. As we procede here, we will call upon the esteemed host of the Ring Beholder podcast, the man considered the foremost expert in the field of match ratings, World Wrestling Daily Digest's Digital Dave Doolittle.
Digital Dave Doolittle: There have been some ups and some downs when we consider match quality for 2019. Ironically, many of the highest profile events seemed somewhat sparse in standout matches, especially on the upper end of the card, but I have still identified a strong list of deserving matches, which I compiled in the following list:
-Sir Vladimir Henry vs. Jakob of Furis, PEWA Horror of Hardcore, October 25th
-Kyle Anderson vs. The Everyman, Lariats and Legislators #9, Night 1, September 19
-Brayden Sutton vs. King Bemba, Pan African Tour Stop One, Antananarivo, Madagascar, August 16
-Mascara Avispa vs. Poison Froggy Mask, Santana Touring Festival, June 2019, June 19
-Nishimura Endo vs. Tarkhan the Mangler, Lightning Strike in Kyoto!, March 3
-Felix Santana Jr. vs. Salvador Sosa, Santana Touring Festival, March 2019, March 1
Digital Dave: As you can see, there have been some exceptional matches this year. From the technicality of Avispa vs. Poison, to the impressive will demonstrated in Anderson vs. Everyman, the best matches the Office has had to offer over the year were varied in their style. But only one can truly be the Match of the Year, and for this award, I think it's only natural to select Brayden Sutton vs. King Bemba from the Pan African Tour.
Senator: Thank you very much, Mr. Doolittle. We only have two awards at this point...
Stanford: Can I get a word in edgewise here? Like, really, you invite me here to talk, and then you do anything but let me talk!
Senator: This has been proceeding at a most undesirable pace, in large part due to your babblings. As I was stating, we have two awards left. The Office has...
Stanford: Anyway, I'm takin' over here! For people, like Uncle Stanford here who couldn't care less about "oooh, match quality" and that garbage, there's been some big moments during the year, too! The Jackson Hole Outlaws wreaked havoc in the TIPWF! Cowboy Johnston had a big wedding party that I wasn't invited to! Masked Maniac IV went through hell to upset Young Blood! Senator Asshole Phillips cheated when he "called an audible" at Lariats #8 when Midas stupidly gave up his chance and answered his bait! And Rudo EX took Santana Family Wrestling by storm when they beat the crap out of the Rudo Army! And out of those, the moment of the year is...Phillips cheating Midas and "calling the audible" at Lariats #8! Not my choice, but since it involved me, I'll live with it, even if it wasn't my best moment...
Senator: And finally, that leaves us with the Performer of the Year. There have been many names worth mentioning here. But six have been truly standout competitors from within the Office's roster.
Senator: Jack Fury may not have achieved his goal of winning the PEWA Extreme title, but the drama of his attempts earned him a nomination. Salvador Sosa did achieve his own goal of winning the Dominican Golden Championship and has been the undisputed star of Santana Family Wrestling. Jean-Pierre Mutombo might have dropped off during the year, but early on, was the top man in the Office and Pan African Wrestling. Lil' Lariato has been embroiled in heated feuds and demonstrated great tenacity to continue holding onto the TIPWF Lone Star championship. G.P. Christopher did the impossible in defeating the Black Dragon, not once, but twice, and has been omnipresent across the Office's promotions. And finally, King Bemba has won titles across multiple promotions, carried the #1 ranked spot into the end of the year as well as the Pan African Championship. It is because of these accomplishments that Mr. Bemba is the Senatorial Office Performer of the Year.
Senator: Thank you, one and all to all the fans who have supported the Office across the course of this year, to all the performers, both from within our roster and from outside, who made these events possible, without the fans and the wrestlers, there would be no Office. And finally, I wish to take this time to make mention that early in January, I will give the State of the Office address, and when I do, there will be a series of announcements that will change the course of the Senatorial Office in drastic measure going into the new year. I wish you all a wonderful new year in 2020 and that, my friends, is nothing...but the truth.
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Post by Senator Phillips on Dec 27, 2019 18:57:16 GMT
Quick reminder that Golden Touch Promotions #3: Giant vs. Colossus airs tonight, with Colossus Rhodes and Giant the Cement battling for one of Midas's signature giant sized checks, Kevin Royce looks to impose his chair swinging Evergreen style against Thiago Gracie's Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu and Jim Tarler of Sierra Wrestling All-Stars seeks to turn back the clock against the TIPWF's Johnny Sixname! And if that wasn't enough, the New Humanity makes his long, long awaited debut, Otto "Brick" Casey of Warrior Pro heads back to the ring after a layoff and Battlestar Galacticat promises to entertain the fans as she does in A.X.E.! All this can be found on the Senatorial Streaming Service at www.twitch.tv/senatorphillips at 8:00 PM (CT) |
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Post by unimportantguy on Dec 27, 2019 23:48:37 GMT
I'm so excited for Jim. He hasn't had a singles match in about four years so this is huge for him. Time for him to remind the world that at 61, he can still go when called upon. Age is just a number when you're a Mountaineer.
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